Accepting What Life Brings

Last night I arrived just below treeline on Greenhorn Mountain just as the swiftly moving mists overtook me, turning the blue gloaming into a dark downpour. I made my way as swiftly as I could into the dark of the forest and began to pitch my tent. I was feeling that it was not going to go well, that pitching my tent in the rain was going to be a miserable situation. I feared that I and the inside of my tent and my sleeping bag would get wet before I could get the protective rain fly up. I had brief notions of a cold, wet, sleepless night atop a mountain.

I knew that the rain was going to pass through the mesh netting of its roof and so I would need to work swiftly and with single focus. I spread the tent out and covered it with the rain fly while I ran the poles through their sleeve tubes. This is not easy and the tent was getting wet, the material resisting against the progress of the poles a bit due to the new friction of it's wet weight and the weight of the wet rain fly on it.

The breeze moving this misty cloud through the forest was cold and my clothes were getting soaked. I had decided to forgo spending time on getting my rain gear out in lieu of getting my shelter up as quickly as possible. I could always change into dry clothes once inside.

Once the tent was up and I was inside changing out of my wet clothes, I realized that the intensity of setting up the tent in this swift manner had lent the moment a focus and a calm to the situation. I had not been worrying about the rain or the cold or how wet my clothes or the tents insides were getting, I had been completely focused on the mechanics of the process. I found that with this single pointed focus I had achieved a meditative state where all of these factors were known or acknowledged, but without all the complicated and fearful thoughts. In fact I felt a bit elated. The challenge of the rain had made the event almost a game for me. I laughed in the dark at the thought that I had been having a rather joyful time through the whole "ordeal."

Hours later, I heard the rain stop hitting the rain fly. I unzipped my tent door and scooted out into the vestibule of the rain fly and unzipped its door. The thick mist of that mountaintop cloud was still moving ghostlike through the forest. I got out to experience it. The air was fragrant with the smell of a rain drenched forest. The evergreen scent, the earthy smell of the ancient humus beneath my feet. I could smell mushrooms out there growing in the moisture of the dark.

The mist began to thin as the cloud was sweeping over the mountain now. It dragged the tail-end of it's ragged tendrils through the narrow alpine firs and as that floating wet blanket slipped across the treeless summit, the dark expanse of the night sky was revealed. At this elevation above any artificial lights of the towns below, the amount of stars one can see is stunning. I realized that the cloud moving across the sky had been like a theater curtain, as it swept over the mountain the revelation of the night sky had a very dramatic effect. It would have been a completely different experience had the sky remained clear at sunset and the dark slowly gathered and one by one the stars slowly became visible. I realized that my experience of all that cold rain and mist was essential to the joyous experience I was having in the present moment. For a moment, here was no real distinction between the discomfort of pitching my tent in the rain and the pleasure of looking out into the glorious stars of our galaxy. There was only joy and gratitude. All that had happened was the path to this deep felt and timeless moment of bliss.

I hadn't been dwelling on how I wished the situation had been different, I was too engaged, too focused for thoughts like that. Accepting life as it is, tensions disappear, discontent disappears; being able to accept life as it is, one starts feeling very joyful for no reason at all!

When I saw the night sky fully opened cup with those innumerable stars in the nearly liquid black of space and the misty cloud dissapearing over the treeless sumit of the mountain, I was overcome with it's beauty. I felt grateful.

With great gratitude I was thankful for the cloud and the rain and the mist. I was grateful that I was spending a night with no other lodging than a tent; otherwise I would be sleeping under an ordinary roof and I would have missed this blessing--these stars, and the whispering retreat of this misty cloud, and this silence of the mountain, the utter beauty of this mountaintop night.

It was a great lesson, a lesson in the value of a focused meditational state in challenging times. A lesson in remaining calm in adverse conditions. This direct experience of nature had powerfully demonstrated to me a lesson in accepting all that life brings, with gratitude.

Deliberate Joyfulness in Times of Hardship

Many of us are going through hard times these days. The global economy is going through a period of balancing itself out which is difficult. We are experiencing this in common with our brothers and sisters around the world and it is a challenge to work together toward helping each other make it through.

I have been reflecting upon the virtues and qualities to bring into this new economic climate which could help sustain a positive outlook and an extension of good will towards my fellow man.

One thing i have found helpful is increasing the practice of joy in my life.

How does one deliberately increase the practice of joy in ones life. There are many ways. To count ones blessings or to meditate upon the abundance that we do have in our lives, many of which we take for granted every day. My family, my health, the warmth of the sun, the gift of the rain. A friend, someone to talk to and share these times with is a blessing indeed.

Often in trying times i have been caught in feelings of despair, feeling that life is just not worth the energy. Sometimes i find that i have fallen into bad habits of just moping and focusing on the down side of everything and spiraling into an unmotivated period of gloom. This has never been helpful to me, and has in fact been detrimental to me as well as negatively affecting those around me.

Making it an intention to set aside time each day to be deliberately joyful has been a help. To spend time with my children or even by myself doing things which are fun. Playing a game with the family always produces laughter and joy. Recalling good times or humorous situations and retelling the stories with friends or reminding them of the occasion can invite laughter and moments of joy.

Deciding to engage in an activity which is fun, taking a walk around the block or stopping by the park to walk for even five or ten minutes can add so much to ones day.

Deciding to do something is always better than deciding to not do anything. Call that friend, watch that old funny movie, play frisbee. What ever it is in your life that brings joy, the little things, the free things, these things will make the day seem so much brighter.

I have found that in trying to be more deliberately joyful, in taking time to appreciate all that i do have, makes the work i have to do more joyful.

I recently heard an interesting quote, "a crisis is a terrible thing to waste."

This may sound like a strange thing to say about difficult times, but there is a lot of truth in it. These things in our lives, these challenges, help us develop tools of wisdom to use in the future. The wisdom gained through challenges not only helps us, but also becomes a gift; they give us something to give back to the world.

It is good to be mindful that, as in all challenging times, we will come out on the other side with new perspective and a renewed sense of power and balance through the wisdom we gain. This can be a liberating understanding, for once we can see this and know this, then we can move on in our daily lives in a joyful manner.

Oh, and remember that sometimes smiling is a reaction we have to feeling good, and at other times, feeling good is a reaction we have to smiling.

Raspberry Jam

Mmmmmm . . . Raspberry Jam! I love it. I love strawberry Jam too. Let's face it i like jam.

There's nothing quite as joyful as opening a jar of raspberry jam on a cold, snowy winter day. Although opening a jar of garden tomatoes you canned last summer's end and thawing out some green chilies roasted and frozen that same weekend might rival the jam.

Once the jar of jam is opened, the scent alone reminds me of the fresh fruit, and the color(!) oh my, such a deep rich red the kind of red you just don't see in Colorado during the winter months. No, not red. Brown? Yes. Gray? Yes. White? You betcha! But red? No, not so much. Maybe left over Christmas ornaments, or perhaps ones cheeks or nose from being outside, but that's about it.

Oh, and this color remind me of other berries, strawberries especially; and roses and ruby-throated hummingbirds, and the little heads of the finches which nest in my porch light.

It's good to think of these things, to remember the joys of hearty Summer whilst deep in the throes of Old Man Winter.

These simple things we do, spreading jam on toast for breakfast or making our children's lunch for school can be moments to remind one to be mindful. We can take the time to think about the jam we are spreading. What is this glorious stuff full of seeds with their potential for more life and fruit bearing (well, maybe not after the canning process . . . but maybe if it's freezer jam). It is clearly more than the jam, it is not simply jam that is to say, for nothing is self arising. It is so much more than just jam.

Think of the rainwater that went into growing the plant and it's berries, and all that sunshine being turned into sugars by these miraculous plants. And what of the clouds in the great sky that brought that rain, and the ocean it came from and all the weather it brought to others on its way from there to here. What about the dirty hands of the gardener who pruned last years raspberry canes and planted the seeds or the root seedlings. And there's the soil, and the compost and leaf mulch which made it and the worms which enriched and aerated it. When you look at the jam can you see the rain and the soil, the gardener and the garden; can you see the sun, the weather and the worm.

No, this is clearly much more than simply jam, this is part of the endless process of life. Perhaps jam represents a still point moment in the planets water cycle. Perhaps it is the worms' pinnacle altruistic achievement.

How She Knew

and her children grew
since crying from birth,
to make their own wombs,
harvest fruit from the earth

that pollen from flowers
of daisies fed bees;
both laughter and hours
heal badly scraped knees

kites that she flew,
once tethered by string,
now nesting in trees
for birds on the wing

that's how she knew,
in no uncertain terms
that god loved earth,
the circle, the worms

-David A. Martin